On a Spiritual Note
My name is Tracy Brusman and I grew up in The San Francisco Bay Area. For as long as I can remember, I have been on a spiritual path.
Trusting the Spirit Within
For weeks, I felt a strong feeling that I needed to paint a Buddha. The message was very clear “Paint a Buddha." I didn't have the faintest clue on how to draw or paint a Buddha, but I went ahead and followed my intuition and painted a buddha on canvas. After finishing painting my first buddha, I heard my inner voice say “paint another Buddha” …so I did. I set the intention, ignored my inner critics, let go and just started creating and painting while staying non- attached on the outcome. This was fun and it felt so good!
Weeks later, after painting around five Buddha’s, my inner voice whispered “Now you need to give workshops with Buddha”. When I heard this message, my initial thoughts were ..Workshops? - Me? My mind suddenly flashed back to all those "mandatory" three hour workshops that I sat through for years and I equated workshops with PTS. For a good three weeks, while mulling over the haunting idea of 'giving workshops', I said “Okay, Universe - if I’m meant to do workshops, give me a big sign to get my attention." The next day while driving my car, I noticed a big silver art sculpture – that resembled a Buddha that was sitting on a large pallet in a parking lot. As I drove by the lot, I thought, “Is that a Buddha? What is the chance of that happening?” I made a U-turn and drove into the parking lot - got out of my car and took a picture of the sculpture. Even though, I may see things through different lenses, I’m thinking I must be losing my mind and seeing the sculpture had to be a coincidence.
A few more weeks had passed, and now I had painted a total of ten Buddhas, all types and sizes from 12x16 - 30x40 inches and loving the process. I'm not talking about beautiful pieces of art here, I'm talking about fun paintings that resembles a Buddha. It was so fun to see what was coming out on the canvases and I felt like Spirit was communicating to me through my paintings. I found it fascinating and healing.
One evening I had all the Buddha paintings lined up in along the walls of my room. Each painting has it's own energy. It felt like a spiritual intervention! As I sat there pondering on what to do with all of these Buddha paintings, a beautiful feeling of love and calmness came over me – almost like a flowing river and my inner voiced whispered once again … “Do the workshops”. At that exact moment, I had a vision and the feeling of walking out of a forest that I had been living in for many years. My clothes were old and dirty and In the near distance ahead, I could finally start to see some light. As I kept walking, I felt the warmth of the sun shinning on my body while feeling very relieved, like a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders and as I kept walking, the energy in my room felt like love - unconditional love.
Maybe I was having a spiritual awakening, mystical awakening, a super soul moment, awakening of the Soul or maybe I was having a visual hallucination; but whatever it was, the experience was beautiful. The gift is in the mystery. There is one thing I do know for sure - I knew at that exact moment, it was time to listen to my heart, follow my intuition and to trust the spirit within.
Update: Months later, I came to find out that the silver sculpture is the face of Medusa. This art sculpture is called “Medusa Madness” and travels to Burning Man.
“ Okay, Universe - if
I’m meant to do the workshops,
give me a big sign
to get my attention."